I’m on the verge of changing my e-mail address. In the past year, I’ve changed my address twice, I’ve changed from being student to faculty, and I’ve changed my name officially with Social Security. The e-mail address – the most abstract change of them all – is next, and it feels like the final step of changing my identity to Renee Prymus – whomever she is.
In December, I chose to take my husband’s last name as my own. My maiden name is now my middle name, and I’m finding that without “Prymus” behind it, “Aukeman” looks lonely. When I introduce myself to people as “Renee Prymus” and then give “renee . aukeman” as my e-mail, it feels funny. I am, somehow, becoming Renee Prymus, and the process is weird.
Logging into Pitt’s computers is the weirdest part. The computer says, “Prymus, Renee Aukeman.” When I started the MFA program at Pitt, I had just moved to Pittsburgh to live “on my own” and “follow my dream” of writing. In some ways, it was a bigger deal than moving to Bolivia. Seeing “Prymus” on the computer takes away the “single chica independent” thing. It’s a textual shock that reminds me to look up and see how much my life has changed.
In the yogic understanding of the individual self, there are five koshas, or sheaths surrounding the self. Physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. In trying to understand this concept, I’ve been thinking about my labels as simply that – labels for sheaths that surround my inner self. Even though my job has changed, my marital status has changed, my name has changed, my homeownership status has changed – I have not changed. “Renee” is not identified by these outside labels.
Renee just is. She – I, my true self – exists full of value outside any of those labels. Changing my e-mail address will, in some ways be more convenient – eventually. In the meantime, there’s a bunch of e-mails and usernames that I’ll need to change. Changing my e-mail address is just the final piece of “Renee Aukeman” becoming “Renee Prymus.” It’s nothing more than that.
It might mean, however, that you have to change something in your e-mail address book. ☺
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1 comment:
I need to do this, too. I do NOT look forward to the hassle, but I do look forward to having a non-juvenile email address to give people (I created my current one as a college freshperson).
Since my current email doesn't contain my name explicitly, it hasn't been as tied to my identity as yours has been. However, it DOES reference an old hobby of mine and I hate having to answer wistfully, "I used to," when people ask incredulously if I resemble my email nickname.
And life goes on, regardless.
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