On Grandparents, Birthdays, and Anniversaries...

Today, my Grandma B is 85 years old. Yesterday, Grandpa Tony would have been 80 years old. Yesterday, I was glad Grandpa wasn't in pain anymore - that he could spend his birthday pain-free, wherever he is now. Today, I'm super sad he's not around to celebrate their 80-ness together.

Is it strange that I miss him more today, on Grandma's birthday, than I did yesterday on his birthday? I guess I don't think so. After it occurs, death seems to be harder on those left behind than those it takes. It's easy to celebrate Grandpa's life - it's harder to envision the hole he left behind in Grandma's life.

I'm not there to see the hole. In my memory, Grandpa still lives with Grandma, sitting in his chair and talking back at the televangelists and news anchors. In reality, he's not there. Through my mom, I know Grandma's doing okay, but she's a bit lonely. If I didn't know that my cat's claws would pierce through her clothes, I'd send her Coconut to keep her company.

Mom and Dad are with her today, sharing their 33rd anniversary with Grandma's 85th birthday. I'll send my love to Grandma through their hugs. I wonder what Grandma felt 33 years ago when they got married on her birthday? I doubt she cared too much - Grandma's not one to be too sentimental.

Grandpa was the sentimental one. Grandma, I think, is more even-keeled. (Brouwer Clan, you can correct me if I'm wrong. I just have long-distance perspective here.) I know they didn't have the greatest of relationships, but they sure did weather a lot of shit together. At the end of the day, there was love.

Last night, Kylie and I celebrated our first anniversary. A little early, but we've got some commitments on Sunday that prevent celebrating on the actual day. We don't mind. We're both pretty darn sappy, and celebrating whenever was fine with us. We've had a wonderful first year filled with a ton of change; moving twice, buying a house, celebrating the end of the MFA, and saying goodbye to Grandpa were the biggest changes, I suppose. We enjoy each other's presence through all the changes, and for that I'm so incredibly thankful.

It's humbling to see people - my parents and grandparents (on both sides, really) - so far ahead of us on the journey. Along the way, I want the stubborn love my grandparents had, and I want the play my parents have (Dad still pulls Mom into the pantry when we're home). We're definitely blessed with models of lasting marriages!

Geesh - okay - deep thoughts on a Friday morning! All the birthdays and anniversaries got me thinking, I guess. It's a good season for remembering and celebrating life. I'm so thankful for my grandmother's life, for the faith she's passing on, and for 85 years on this planet. And I'm thankful for the gift of knowing how to crochet doilies and potholders.

Happy Birthday, Grandma!
Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad!

Love to you all...