The Holy Spirt

Yes, I spelled “spirt” wrong. But the song slides at church yesterday did it first, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I’m the nerdy person in the congregation who notices the grammar mistakes and therefore giggles at inappropriate moments during the service. Sometimes there are other nerdy people there too, and we exchange glances, and there’ll be a whole group of us laughing. Usually, though, we’re not laughing at the person who made the mistake—we laugh at the mistake and at our own nerdiness for finding it.

Sometimes, the grammar mistakes are revealing and help me see things in a different light. Tonight’s “Spirt” was one of those.

I felt exhausted this weekend. Very little energy. Very weak mind. Very easily overwhelmed. I was actually rather productive over the weekend—except for two items that popped up last minute on my to-do list—both with major weight to them. One of them is my proposal for my MFA manuscript; it needs to be done before the end of the week, which is earlier than anticipated. The other is a summer job opportunity that I had given up on over a month ago. Now they want an interview and sample lesson plan.

When my energy is shot, my self-esteem usually goes with it. All the doubt of being a writer or a teacher, let alone a good one of either, creeps up and slams me down to the couch I doubt my ability to write a good lesson plan, convincing proposal—my ability to communicate anything.

So, in that frame of mind, I went to church to hear about the Holy Spirt. The implications of the grammar mistake hit me immediately. What do you do with low amounts of energy and self-esteem when you believe the Holy Spirit lives inside you? What does being a daughter of light mean in every day life?

Romans 8 comes to mind—a chapter about living in the Spirit: “Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the Law of the Spirit of Life has set you free from the Law of sin and of death [and of low energy and self-esteem]” (1-2). While theologians debate just which part of the Christian life this applies to—salvation or daily living—many agree that it applies to both. In this situation, I can apply it to liberation from my own mind.

I do not operate on my own energy, but His. These talents—of teaching and of writing—are talents that He has given me. Thus, by using these gifts, I honor Him. Not that if I use them He will make me a bestselling author or anything—that’s not what I’m getting at. By putting pen to paper, refusing to listen to the voices of discouragement—low energy and self-doubt—I am actively trusting the Holy Spirit to flow through my fingers.

This is where I love the idea of the Holy Spirt. I rather see it as a double-misspelling, not only of “spirit” but also of “spurt.” The Holy Spurt. The Holy Spurt of His energy and knowledge and know-how and grace and wisdom that lives in me and can flow through me as I tackle these day-to-day, weighted projects. By lifting pen to paper, I am trusting in His Spirit, for I have no trust in myself.

And all that from a silly misspelled word. He IS an incarnate God.